Table of Contents
The introduction sets the stage for the rest of the book by identifying for whom it was written and by outlining what the reader will learn.
The Goal of this Book
How My Program Can Help You
Chapter 1 Parental Disciplinary Practices and the Ways Children Learn
This chapter discusses serious limitations to common approaches to discipline, including the many counter-productive aspects of punishment. It highlights the various ways that children learn and how you as parents can use your understanding of how children respond to choose an effective approach. It then presents the framework for a comprehensive and coordinated approach to teaching children to behave responsibly.
What Parents Say About Disciplining Their Children
Things We Know About Punishment
Ways Children Learn
Toward Establishing More Effective Discipline
Chapter 2 Power Struggles, Discipline, and Responsible Behavior
Chapter 2 recognizes the self-defeating results of power struggles between you and your children and describes what drives these destructive interactions, including the fearfulness that often underlies a child’s challenging behavior. And it prepares you for a constructive alternative that reduces any anxiety your child may experience, while ensuring harmonious parent-child interactions.
Observations on How Control Struggles Develop
The Way the Process Works
Resolving Power Struggles and Overall Discipline
Chapter 3 Exploit the Power of Positive Reinforcement
This chapter establishes the foundation for a structured proactive program focused on eliminating advantages to your children of their inappropriate behavior while assuring that they can meet their important needs by behaving responsibly. It also describes how you can eliminate already established inappropriate behavior without giving undue attention to inappropriate behavior.
Developmental Factors and the Learning Process
A Strategy for Constructive Discipline
Putting it Together: Summary of the Basic Rationale
Chapter 4 Three Steps to Develop a Custom-Made Home Program
Chapter 4 describes how to develop and operate a proactive home program to meet your family’s specific needs. It spells out how to specify for your children the exact behavior you expect and how to avoid potential pitfalls that can undermine your program. Next it details how to establish a simple but powerful reinforcement program that makes it good for your child to comply with your expectations. Finally, the chapter discusses how to operate and monitor the program, using a simple behavioral chart and a brief but powerful daily reviews to assure ongoing constructive focus by all.
Step 1: Specify Your Expectations to Your Child
Step 2: Help Your child want to do what you Expect
Step 3: Build Your Program into Your Family Life
Chapter 5 Challenges in Developing a Home Program
To assist you in implementing the steps for constructing and implementing the home program discussed in Chapter 4, Chapter 5 presents a series of relevant questions from other parents about challenges arising in their homes. Illustrative examples are provided for each step.
Step 1: Challenges in Specifying Expectations
Step 2: Challenges in Establishing a Reward System
Step 3: Challenges in Managing a Home Program
Chapter 6 Maintain the Program while Your Child Is Away from You
Chapter 6 describes how you can influence your children even while you are away from them, with specific attention to while they are at school.
Step 1: Create a Partnership with the Teacher
Step 2: Develop Shared Expectations
Step 3: Develop a School Behavior Chart
Step 4: Establish Operating Procedures for School
Chapter 7 How to Reduce Inappropriate Behavior
Since even the most compliant child sometimes misbehaves, Chapter 7 describes how to intervene without giving undue attention to unacceptable behavior. Since this powerful tool is so often misused, the pitfalls to avoid and the rationale for effective use of it are carefully discussed. Further, applications of the technique outside the home, specifically while at a sit-down restaurant, shopping, and in the car are discussed in detail.
Misconceptions about A Powerful Tool
How to Apply Time-out In Your Home
How to Apply Time-out Outside Your Home
Chapter 8 Monitor, Maintain, and Adjust Your Home Program
To assure long-term effectiveness, Chapter 8 discusses how to monitor and adjust the home program in response to faltering progress, to the child’s mastery of behaviors, and to changing circumstances. Included are how to review, assess, and adjust the program. The chapter also includes a section on troubleshooting for times when the program appears stagnant.
Review Progress and Adjust Your Program
Adjust Your Program to Changing Circumstances
Troubleshoot Your Program
Chapter 9 Actual Families, Actual Challenges
To further full mastery of this material, this last chapter presents a series of vignettes taken from my clinical work. Each addresses a question about how to manage specific aspects of developing, implementing, and operating a structured home program. My responses are intended both to address the specific questions raised and to illustrate how I think through the answers, to further your capacity to flexibly and effectively tailor the approach to your own family’s characteristics and needs.
Rewards or Bribery?
Focus on Self-initiated Responsibility
Managing Parental Stress
Managing Sibling Conflict
Differing Parental Expectations
When Saying “No” is too Difficult
When Your Child “Quits” the Program
Assisting a Child with Attention Deficit Disorder
Your Program and Children of Divorce
A Program for Parents, Too
The three appendices are included to provide you with sample materials to support your efforts to build and operate your own home program. Each is explained at the beginning of the page.
Appendix 1 Identify Target Behaviors
Appendix 2 Blank Home Behavior Chart
Appendix 3 Sample Prize Game Board – Pre-Reading Age Child