The form below is used for parents to identify for themselves exactly which of their children’s behaviors they would like to focus on first. It is shown below. If you would like to download and print the form, go to the PDF image below. The goal of this website and the book How to Raise Disciplined and Happy Children is to assist you in guiding your children to better control over their own actions and a better sense of adequacy in dealing with their world. Once you have become informed about the reasoning behind our approach, by attending a presentation or by reading the book, you will be ready to design a program tailored for use in your own home, based on the changes you would like to help each child make. The form below will help you get started.
This form breaks a typical day into sections and identifies some of the tasks associated with each, but feel free to ignore or add tasks to meet your own needs. Start by thinking through a typical day in your home, considering what you expect of each child and what behaviors fail to meet your expectations during each portion of the day. Focus on those specific behaviors that occur often enough or are bothersome enough to concern you or that cause your child discomfort or unhappiness.
Write a brief description of each behavior that concerns you in the suitable area on the form. For example, for “After school: coming home,” one parent wrote “Often misses bus.” Another wrote, “Forgets his lunch pail at least twice a week.” If you identify issues that don’t fit anywhere else, write them on the back or on another sheet of paper. When you are done, check how complete you have been by asking yourself.
If we can change all of the concerns I’ve identified, will there still be significant problems
If you answer “yes,” write down what popped into mind. Repeat this pattern until you can comfortably answer “no” and you will likely have identified all significant issues. This accomplishment will make it easier for you to design your program. Note that this form is for you to use as a reference as you develop your own program, allowing you ease in choosing those items you will include in your program at the beginning and as you move along.
Note: While I have emphasized focusing your attention on behaviors you consider appropriate, you may have recognized that this form focuses on behaviors you consider inappropriate. The reason for this apparent discrepancy is that behaviors that cause you concern seem readily to come to mind and generally it is easier to start by listing them. Once you have the form complete, you will be ready to begin converting your concerns into well-written statements of your expectations to guide your child to more responsible behavior.